Reading the pass makes me feel like I've missed out on a lot of things. I was a loser, still a loser. Many things that I was so afraid of doing, now I don't even have a chance. All I could do is blame it on myself. That's why I keep looking back. I always wonder, what if i done this instead of backing out. What if I became like that. Would it make me a better person? Would this depression of my that has been hidden for so long go away. Would I see this life differently? I really want to go back and do things that I have not done. Looking forward is too much for me now. Everything that was not done in the pass is reflecting on my future, I can not help it. Still I live on as nothing is bothering me right now.